Response to "Five Helpful Encouragements..."

To begin, Kathryn Ashworth recounts that Yoga Teacher Training (YTT) is an “intuitive” rather than “rational” decision. For me, my life has been spinning out off control in every direction for a while. Seemingly every person/ group in my life just needs “one more thing” to the point where I have no space/ air left for myself. Gasp. YTT is a time-out. It’s me carving the space for me to be with myself learning about myself. A renewal. A retreat. And rationally, it seems like “one more thing,” but “intuitively” it feels like the only thing I am supposed to be doing. For now.

In her article “Five Helpful Encouragements for Completing Your Yoga Teacher Training,” Ashworth asks: “Are we searching for our ‘yoga voice’ or are we simply struggling to manage the workload amidst all our day to day concerns?” Yes. Yes, I need to harness some kind of yogi voice/ power to manage the rest of my week, month, summer, year, life. A good portion of the article touched on confidence -- but since I am already a teacher, I don’t think I have stage fright around addressing groups of people on content that interests me. I feel comfortable “owning what I know.” That being said: I don’t know how to properly chaturanga. And with my arm permanently damaged (and my body being overweight) -- I may never be able to. Should a yoga teacher be able to do chaturanga and crow and handstand? Maybe I am getting ahead of myself and should rewind back to mastering mountain pose. “Sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something,” Ashworth reminds after finding the quote on Pintrest. What a relief! Because I really suck at chaturange, crow, and headstand!

Yoga Teacher Training is stretching my own perception of myself. Ashworth explains that “stretching” is inviting the body to take a “new shape.” In stretching we “gradually train the nervous system into believing that we can access a deeper shape safely.” By practicing yoga, holistically and regularly the shape of my life is literally changing. Ashworth states a “comfort zone” is not something broken, but stretched: “I’m getting comfortable with the comfort zone,” Ashworth states, “ because I know they’ll expand in their own time.” This statement reassures me to take my time and grow into my practice -- the more I practice, the more I will grow.

The end result, actually teaching yoga, doesn’t even matter. “Deep down, past ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t;’ the question lingers: ‘What do I really want?’ And it’s okay to change your mind. '

” This is so essential because part of the “practice” is quieting the internal chatter so that you can truly hear the “suggestions” of the heart. And maybe we came to YTT to quiet that chatter and maybe to teach -- we don’t have to decide today. And even if we do, it’s okay to change our mind about any or anything that we’ve invited into our lives. We are constantly auditing what sparks joy and feeds happiness and is right. In doing this, “we finally allow ourselves the time space and time to become whoever we are meant to be.” In closing Ashworth states, “yoga -- in its truest form is the ability to gradually come to know and love yourself.” Ashworth’s articles validates and gives me permission to let go of roles that no longer serve me and to fully take the shape of my dreams.